Closeness can keep you away from divorces door
They say that a lack of closeness with your spouse is more likely to lead to a divorce than adultery.
So, how do you stay close to your spouse when life gets busy?
Be Interested in their life
I’ve worked with guys who barely know their wives’ friends names.
Come on.
We can do better.
Lisa and I share most of the events of our day. We text one another when good things happen — and when not so good things happen.
I know whats going on in her life, she knows whats going on in mine.
I’ve had people ask — ‘why all the checking in? Isn’t that kinda sketch — like she doesn’t trust you?’
Not at all.
We’re not checking in out of distrust. We’re checking in — and being interested in one another, because we know the power of staying close with each other.
❓ Where can you take a new interest in your spouses life?
Don’t assume you know everything about your spouse
Last year I learned my wife takes 13, 17 and 21 minute naps.
What?
Who does that?
Well, my wife apparently.
It only took me 23 years to find out.
❓ What are the things you ASSUME you know, but may have changed since you got married?
Ask good questions
Be curious, not judgmental of your spouse.
They aren’t always out to get you.
Scratch that.
Hopefully, they’re never out to get you, but sometimes it can feel like it!
Assume the best, and ask them questions about how and why they respond to situations like they do. You’re different people, and the way they respond may be completely unfamiliar to you — and may seem offensive.
❓What’s a question you can ask tonight to get the conversation going?
Find things you like to do together
It brings my wife great joy to find “treasures” in consignment shops and thrift stores.
It seems foreign to me, but not as much as it once did years and years ago when we were first married.
Now, I usually find the book section of the store and enjoy reading while she shops.
Every once in a while, she’ll come over and show off the fabulous finds that she’s made.
It’s something we’ve grown to enjoy together.
❓Can you pick up a new hobby or play tourists in your town together?
Make intimate friendship a priority
A stupendous marriage is an intimate friendship.
Intimate means: Open, Honest, bare naked truth and connection with your spouse. Great intimacy leads to great sex.
Friendship means: someone you know, like and trust, who you want to get to know EVEN more on this journey of life together.
❓How Intimate are you with your spouse? How good of friends are you?
Where Do I Even Start to Work on my Marriage?
