I decided to take Chat GPT for a spin.
In my work, I talk a lot to husbands who want more out of their lives and relationships. So, with all the AI hubbub, I wanted to see what it would spit out.
Here’s the prompt I wrote:
I was looking forward to the response and (for the most part) its right in line with what I usually suggest.
Let’s go through them.
You need a Goal
Often when we get married, we think we “won the girl” and we can disengage and give up the “chase”.
We stop romancing, we stop engaging, many times we stop pursuing. Some guys I’ve worked with even stop saying the basic “I love You”.
Come on. We can do better.
Our brains are wired to achieve things. When you set a goal — the dopamine squirt you get in your brain helps you come to life.
You should set goals for your relationship too!
What do you want to achieve in your life and relationship?
Set a Goal. Go after it.
Learn better communication skills
We aren’t taught good communication skills.
When we come into marriage we’ve likely had bad models — like our parents or friends. Guess what — your spouse has ALSO had bad models for communication.
So, you have to step it up.
Active listening involves putting down your freakin phone and engaging with conversation. Good listening is a full body sport.
You also have to learn that you have more than 4 emotions: “Hungry”, “Angry”, “Tired” and “Me-Want-Sex”.
Get in touch with your feelings and learn to express them.
Be Thankful For What You Have
How grateful are you for the life you have?
Every day, Write down 5 things you’re thankful for. Write new things everyday.
After 30 days, your perspective will begin to change.
Do You Have Some Sort of Self-Care Routine?
This one was unexpected. But it’s true. Many men default to ‘work-mode’ and don’t take care of themselves (me included).
How can you engage with your whole life — not just work — if you don’t have a life OUTSIDE of work?
Find some sort of movement that works for you. Get a hobby and find time to rest.
Counseling is NOT a Four Letter Word
Expressing your thoughts and feelings to a counselor can be helpful beyond your marriage. It’s also beneficial for you emotionally and spiritually.
Talking with someone about your stinky thinking is cathartic.
Find An Older Man Who Still Loves His Wife. Learn From Him
If all your buddies are badmouthing their wives, you aren’t going to get better at your marriage. You’re going to pick up their bad attitudes.
Get around people who’ll encourage you to continue growing, and challenge you when you’re acting like an ass.
Manage Your Time Better
This ties into self-care.
We’re never going to get everything done. There will always be more work or hobbies or something we can, or want, to do. But our relationships suffer if we don’t prioritize them.
Make your marriage a priority.
Healthy Habits
This one was a near repeat of #4. ChatGPT was getting lazy.
Keep Growing
Bonus points if you do something to grow with your wife.
Take up a hobby together — that way you stay connected, and learn something new together that you can enjoy and talk about.
If you’re not learning something new, you’re missing out on a full life.
Best For Last: Work on Intimacy
Intimacy is more than sex.
Successful marriages are Intimate Friends. Of course, you should be having sex…AND building your friendship with your mate.
There’s more to intimacy than the 3 that ChatGPT spit out. Besides physical, emotional and shared activities, work on these intimacies with your spouse:
- Intellectual
- Creative
- Recreational
- Work/Fiscal
- Spiritual
You want to be completely intimate with your spouse — nothing hidden in any area.
How do you think ChatGPT did encouraging husbands?
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originally published on Medium
image: "'When dreams come true' 1920" by crackdog is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.
